Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
