yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
