dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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