My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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