Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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