I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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