if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
