Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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