I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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