I look better un-naked...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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