Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
