OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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