I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize