Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
