Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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