I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
