if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
