I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
