I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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