you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
