brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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