accomplished twins. life is a go
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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