I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
