i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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