I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You should frame my arrest warrant.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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