Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
