addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
