y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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