and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think my moral compass just broke
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
