Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
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Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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