I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
