if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
