Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize