if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
