Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
