if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
