i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
