You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize