I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
