i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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