New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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