Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
