My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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