Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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