You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize