Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
