Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
