WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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