We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
