The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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