OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
