Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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