Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
