i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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