I'm lost and stupid without you.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
