Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
